Monday, August 01, 2005

Getting into hot water....

I like to felt. I like knitting big ole things and watching them shrink up into nothingness. I was always envious of kids who had Shrinky Dinks kits, I am making up for this lack by playing with my own grown up version of Shrinky Dinks, I like to call them "Smelty Felts"; nothing beats the odeur of wet sheep pervading your home! (On a side note... the Shrinky Dink website says you can make a "whole variety of useable plastic items". Huh? These are not your grandma's Shrinky Dinks kids! These are the Shrinky Dinks of the new millennium! Useful! Bright! Bizarre!)


So anyhoo, I like to felt.

Witness these cute reverse checkerboard slippers that I felted last Christmas



Cute my ass! They were never given as gifts because they are butt ugly. Only a mother could love these half assed excuses for cleverly crafted gifts. They were destined to make the short journey from gift to church rummage sale in seconds flat. But I digress. I didn't have the heart to toss them out, nor did I want them polluting my knitting basket with their hideousness. I plopped these beauties on top of my washer. They floated around for months, falling on the floor, one of the pair migrating upstairs with the clean laundry, gathering dust and dog kibble, falling in the paper recycling only to be fished out because they were not paper. Slowly they gathered a life of their own, they became the personalities of the laundry room. You could always open the door to the laundry and find one or both of them lurking, on the floor, apart, together, but constant hairy little mirror images of each other.

These little buggers really do have a life of their own. While I was doing a load dog towels {for those of you just dying to know what a dog towel is: we have a generous back stock of old towels used to dry wet dogs. Those of you who own water dogs already know.} one of these cretinous hairy monsters decided to explore the inside of the washer.

number one, the normal sized felted slipper



and number two, the super felted, felted slipper!



Snork!

The Harlot knits darling little people shoes. I just shrink 'em into oblivion! This little slipper is dense; it might knock someone out if you threw it at his or her head at just the right angle.

I love felting, it is such a random act! When I am not making a "whole variety of useable plastic (ermmm, wool) items", I am busy making useless, turdlike objet d'art! Oh Martha me!

Oh yah, in case you hadn't already figured it out, the first photo is a clever exercise in perspective, and was taken after the crazy hot water incident, with the super felted slipper in the front...

*****


In the event that anyone was worried about last week's radio silence. I was here:


Cool, colorful Colorado.

Visiting my spectacular Momkat.



We engaged in all sorts of pursuits from alpine driving in Rocky Mountain national park, to visiting yummy little yarn shops in Denver and Boulder.

Good time was had by all two of us!

2 comments:

Christie said...

Oh my god, that's hilarious!

shizzknits said...

LMAO at the tiny felted felted slipper